Avoid burying a great thesis statement in the middle of a paragraph or late in the paper. Be as clear and as specific as possible; avoid vague words. Are there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinating conjunction i. Would a subordinating conjunction help i. Or do the two statements imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis? If so, settle on one single focus and then proceed with further development. Is your thesis statement too general? Compare this original thesis too general with three possible revisions more focused, each presenting a different approach to the same topic: There are serious objections to today's horror movies.
Because modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get more graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers to violence. The pornographic violence in "bloodbath" slasher movies degrades both men and women.
Today's slasher movies fail to deliver the emotional catharsis that s horror films did. Is your thesis statement clear? In order to be as clear as possible in your writing: Unless you're writing a technical report, avoid technical language.
Always avoid jargon, unless you are confident your audience will be familiar with it. Compare the original thesis not specific and clear enough with the revised version much more specific and clear: Although the timber wolf is a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated.
Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be a fierce and cold-blooded killer.
Does your thesis include a comment about your position on the issue at hand? Avoid merely announcing the topic; your original and specific "angle" should be clear. In this way you will tell your reader why your take on the issue matters.
In this paper, I will discuss the relationship between fairy tales and early childhood. Not just empty stories for kids, fairy tales shed light on the psychology of young children. We must save the whales. Because our planet's health may depend upon biological diversity, we should save the whales.
When you make a subjective judgment call, specify and justify your reasoning. Socialism is the best form of government for Kenya. If the government takes over industry in Kenya, the industry will become more efficient.
Avoid merely reporting a fact. Say more than what is already proven fact. Go further with your ideas. Otherwise… why would your point matter? Hoover's administration was rocked by scandal. The many scandals of Hoover's administration revealed basic problems with the Republican Party's nominating process. Is your thesis statement original?
The point you make in the paper should matter: Be prepared to explain why the point you are making is worthy of a paper. Why should the reader read it? There are advantages and disadvantages to using statistics. Careful manipulation of data allows a researcher to use statistics to support any claim she desires. Once you have appointed us, you can lean back and enjoy while our best thesis writers work on your paper.
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Thesis Statement Model #2: Thesis with Concession Notice that this model makes a concession by addressing an argument from the opposing viewpoint first, and then uses the phrase "even though" and states the writer's opinion/main idea as a rebuttal.
Thesis Statement Creator: Directions: This web page explains the different parts to a thesis statement and helps you create your own. You can click on the example button in each section to see an example of a thesis statement.
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